Quarter Life Crisis - Here's How To Overcome It

The years spent at university are undoubtedly an unforgettable phase of one’s life. Several years of freedom filled with new acquaintances, limited obligations, constant entertainment and great experiences seems like a carefree paradise compared to their lives post-graduation overwhelmed with responsibilities. The comfortable cocoon provided by the university environment of teachers, mentors, fellow students and friends offering support or advice also contributes to a great extent to one’s overall positive university experience. Graduation marks a huge transition from this somewhat innocent younger adulthood stage into the “mature” adult life, a whole new chapter filled with unknown variables. The many new changes, such as finding the right job, leaving the city where one used to study, and friendships threatened by the long distance, can sometimes lead to a quarter-life crisis, which in this case can be defined by a post-graduation depression. Although not an officially recognized mental issue, the latter is often described by psychologists as a state of sadness that recent graduates report experiencing right after they have left behind the world they created throughout their years spent in university. However, it is quite difficult to understand this phenomenon, since as suggested by Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, a psychologist based in Colorado, the post-graduation depression is quite underreported due to the lack of studies conducted with representatives from the young adulthood population. Below, however, we will provide an overview of post-graduation depression and the nostalgia over the years spent at university, and focus on the particular emotions and feelings they evoke in graduates.

When it comes to defining the symptoms of such a condition, according to postings from recent graduates on the Internet as well as the opinions of therapists, post-graduation depression includes sadness, hopelessness, decreased motivation and an overall negative perspective of the world. Millennials who have shared their stories across the web say that they experience a significant disappointment in their professional life, which makes it even harder for them to find the right job and shape their life based on their interests. Other feelings that are often described in relation to the quarter-life crisis are loneliness and isolation, usually due to the gradual changes in people’s relationship because of the different paths they might take, their busy schedules, or the long distance if they live in different places.

Going through a post-graduation depression can be caused by other things than the nostalgic feelings over the pleasant years spent at university. For instance, some graduates who have completed longer degree studies of four or six years for instance, have already suffered significant levels of pressure due to the multiple projects, deadlines or exams, and so they believe that life after university will involve less stress and anxiety. In such scenarios the individuals are likely to suffer depression or nostalgia simply because they are not prepared for the true reality that they will be facing after leaving university. Although many graduates go through a heavy quarter-life crisis that can last for months or even years, some people are solely prone to the slight flashes of nostalgic feelings when looking back at the years spent at university. Nostalgic feelings in such cases can be easier to combat compared to the ones typical for post-graduation depression, with things like photo collages, a visit to the university, or merely by talking to former fellow students. 

Having explored the most common feelings and emotions that may occur from nostalgic thoughts or post-graduation depression, it is worth looking at the triggers of both phenomena.

While some graduates point out they are experiencing insignificant nostalgic feelings over the years they have spent at university when looking through old photos or thinking of their old friends, those graduates who suffer from depression suggest that what triggers their depression is the fear of the unknown and the overwhelming list of responsibilities that await them. Life transitions can be indeed very stressful, especially for young adults, and so it is only natural for some to suffer from a depression after the handout of a degree. As discussed above this topic is barely covered throughout university, making it more difficult for people to recognize this depression and realize the negative impact it has. Understanding the key factors that hold back young adults from the smooth transition and adaptation to the independent adult life will provide a clearer notion of the meaning of post-graduation depression.

Post-graduation emotional distress is in fact quite common. Many people go through it once they detach from the life they have got used to for the past three or more years. It is only natural for one’s mental health to potentially decrease due to huge transitions like the leap into adult life. The latter is often associated with job concerns, moving to another city or even going abroad, finding a place to live and meeting new people. Each and every one of these aspects comes with a particular fear related to it. For instance, a research conducted by the American Institute of Stress has shown that work and any difficulties related with it are among the most common causes of stress, anxiety and depression and eventually lead to people struggling with their mental health. Finding a job is almost inevitable, which in turn might pose a significant challenge for recent graduates as they are likely to face a huge competition or sometimes even rejection. This can actually be quite emotionally exhausting since university provides an environment shaped mostly based on students’ interests, which on its part provides the individual with the freedom to express their creativity, personality and be more active as a whole. The fact that only few manage to land their dream job almost straight away could also affect one’s confidence, especially in a social media age that provides a platform for an easy comparison with other peoples’ lifestyles. This is why Dr Andrew Cope, author, trainer and UK’s first ever “Doctor of Happiness”, advises graduates to stay away from social media platforms that might have a detrimental effect on their wellbeing.

Lack of confidence and decreased motivation can also arise from loneliness, or the fear of loneliness, and present another obstacle on the way of battling depression and coping with quarter-life crisis. Many people have reported that the idea of leaving the town where they have spent most of their young adulthood and having to change completely their circle of friends is enough terrifying on its own. At university one is constantly surrounded by people who more or less share similar views on life and therefore can provide some sort of a support system for each other that is almost impossible to be compensated by phone calls when people are no longer in the same city, for example. The sense of social isolation can turn out to be very harmful to one’s wellbeing, especially when there is almost no close friend to talk to or hang around with. 

The issue with post-university depression is a lot more common than one might think. Therefore, it is not surprising that vulnerable young adults who are trying to transition into and adapt to the “real world” feel a certain amount of disappointment or even doubt their progress in life as they try to figure out where exactly they went wrong. Yet, there is always hope, and as long as one realizes what a waste of time depressive thoughts are, one might find the inner strength to break through post-grad depression and start a whole new exciting chapter in one’s life.

People who suffer from post-university depression and do not have any of the mental health issues that are officially recognized as such should understand that crisis management is indeed possible. However, it does require a lot of effort and willingness on the part of the one who is suffering from it. Shaking off the feelings of sadness and improving the overall desire to achieve things in life requires some significant changes in one’s routine, perception of the world and self-confidence. Below we will outline some of the key steps that one can undertake on their mission of changing the negative state of mind into a more positive attitude and perception of adult life.

• Acknowledge your depression – As in any healing journey, one must first of all acknowledge one’s problems before trying to solve them. The same applies for post-university depression. One might associate the latter with a person that is lying in their bed all day long without barely leaving their home and having troubles with their motivation to do things in general. However, that is actually not always the case as there are people who are doing the exact opposite in terms of travelling, being overly social, exercising, and basically everything that will distract them from realizing they are also struggling with finding their place in the adult life.
• Make a checklist – What the graduates in question can do next is try to define the severity of their depression. i.e. whether it is mild, moderate, or severe. This can be achieved of course with the help of a professional therapist, however there are also ways of going about it alone. For instance, an easy way to determine the overall stage of one’s depression is with the use of a simple checklist of questions in regards to ones’ energy levels, moods, hours of sleep etc.. When visible on paper it will be easier for one to truly commence recognizing the levels of depression, and increase one’s desire to deal with it.
• Try out a new hobby – Being on the road of change, it could be very hard for one to think positively in a longer term, especially if one has suffered from post-university depression for quite some time. A good way to keep the mind distracted from negative thoughts is trying out a new hobby, for example something artistic, a sport or even volunteering. Exploring different areas of interest while meeting up with new people is a great way to improve both mental health and creativity. Furthermore, the joy and pleasure that one gets from doing what makes them happy will undoubtedly lift up the mood and gradually encourage more and more involvement.
• Get a routine – Graduates often find themselves disorganized once they leave university since the routine of classes, lectures and extracurriculars they have been used to for years has finally come to an end and is replaced by a life occupied mostly by responsibilities and independent decision making. Introducing a somewhat strict schedule into an everyday routine can work wonders. Some of the things that can be easily executed without requiring too much effort are having regular meals at exact times, working out, meeting up with friends or even starting off a day with sending out some job applications.
• Stay healthy – Many people suffering from depression lack or abuse sleeping and eating, or sometimes even neglect their hygiene. This is why therapists suggest that treating your body right can contribute significantly to the combat with post-university blues. Frequent exercises, meditation as well as homemade meals can make people feel better both on the inside and outside. It is also a well-known fact that working out is good for the cognitive and executive function, memory and the brain in general, which in turn allows people to make decisions more easily and with a clear mind.
• Stay social – Another important and beneficial step towards a wellbeing and a healthier life is talking with friends, relatives or even a counsellor, since having someone to talk to can make it easier for one to process their feelings. 
• Surround yourself with positivity – Despite the fact that sometimes graduates might be forced to move away from the city they attended university in and hence gradually grow apart from the people that were once their closest friends, it is never too late to find a new social scene with people who can be as equally supportive as their relatives and old friends. Surrounding yourself with positive people and influences will undoubtedly encourage you to achieve your goals and dreams. Reading books, watching movies or listening to the stories of people who have struggled with the same are an ideal substitute for negative thoughts.
• Avoid comparison – As mentioned earlier in the article victims of such kind of depression tend to compare themselves to other people and their achievements in life. Even though it might seem like other people have achieved their goals in terms of making a family, buying a house, travelling or landing their dream job, it does not necessarily mean that these individuals are happy. A good way to avoid such comparison game is to also take a breath from social media, taking into consideration that many people are using these platforms to showcase their thriving lifestyles.
• One step at a time – Once having acknowledged the problem and established the stages of going about it, one might rush into making significant changes to their lives way too soon. Although this can turn out to be beneficial for some, it might also come as a cultural shock to others, which is why it is highly recommended for graduates who are going through their quarter-life crisis to do so slowly. Jumping into a career straight away for example, can turn out to be a step backwards, simply because it is not well considered or the person is not that resilient yet.
• Realizing that this is only temporary – The final step towards the breakout of quarter-life crisis is the realization that such sad emotions and feelings are only temporary and will not last forever. This can be a very comforting thought that one can use to make the overall situation more manageable and get over with this chapter of their life in no time.